The way to your place
Dear C., it has now been a couple of days since I had my first tantric experience. I think that now I’ve collected myself to be able to find the words to describe what I sensed and how I experienced the travel. I had already been curious of a tantra massage for approx. 1 year. In talks with my partner I discovered that she was curious as well and wished to give it a try.
Everyday life inhibits day dreams of this kind and thus a bit of time passed until I made an appointment with you.
The day has come.
My partner and I arrive early. We are questioning each other: “Are you excited?” The answers change from yes to no and vice versa the closer we get to our destination. We walk along the street and look for the house number. Well, here it is. As we are still early, we stroll on.
Shortly before the appointment my partner is keen on entering the shoe shop across the street – an “attempt to escape”? We cross the street, ring the bell and are asked to the first floor via the intercom. We are welcomed by a self-confident woman with incredible charisma and by P. We had agreed on beforehand that P. would massage my partner, so that it was not much of a surprise to me. I didn’t know who would accompany my journey.
We are quickly welcomed, led into one of the massage rooms and asked to take a seat on some chairs. I scan this woman, who is of commanding presence. Pale skin, dark and short hair, strong-coloured lipstick. My pulse races more and more. My thoughts are circling: “Is it good or bad now that an attractive woman is going to touch me intimately?”
During the preliminary talk you ask about the personal “script”. My answer that I actually don’t have one is not honest one hundred percent at this point. You explain the progress with the shower and who has to be where afterwards.
The first touch
After having a shower I sit on a chair in my room wearing a kimono and shortly after you enter the room. You ask me to close my eyes. You take off my slippers. I sense your mouth on my feet, your nails slowly move over my calves and slide up to the inner sides of my thighs. You lift the kimono and bare my private parts. You “incidentally” touch my lingam for the first time. “Wow, that was to come much later in my script!”, my thoughts scream, while my loins are supplied with blood with pleasant shivers.
You ask me to get up and to stand in the centre of the futon. I feel you approaching from behind and hug me. Under your gentle touch my kimono slides to the floor and you take off your shawl that had still covered you so far. With my eyes closed it is a bit hard for me to keep my balance on the soft futon. Your hands run from the feet upwards and your face is very close to my lingam during your movements. “Is she going to kiss it?” No, a puff provides a moment of surprise.
Shortly after, I can lie on my belly.
Little hint: a ring-shaped cushion would make it more comfortable for the face to rest. I’m still aware of the street noise, but after few minutes it stops when the music starts and I feel your first touch. Not always can I define which part of your body touches me. Sometimes I identify your mouth, your nose, your elbow; all in all, however, I’m not sure during the whole massage what exactly you are doing with me.
I feel heat on my back and have the feeling that the flame of a candle closely passes my skin. Only with a moment of delay do I realise that it is oil. You pour it onto my back forming a long line. You slide over me with your whole body. Your breast rests in my open palm of the hand. Am I allowed to grab it? I leave it at this thought, as I’m convinced not to be allowed to go beyond this boundary.
You spread the oil on the whole back of my body. I cannot describe this phase in detail, because I was mentally unwound. Surprisingly, I manage quite well to relax my body and not to help you when you change the position of my limbs.
Do I have an erection?
When you occasionally touch my perineum, my testicles and my lingam, my mind is active again. Being a man (with the widespread and self-made sexual pressure to perform) and quite an analytical person I find it difficult to relax. “Do you have an erection?” „I don’t think so.“ „Why don’t you have an erection despite this tender touch?”
I suppress these thoughts and focus again on enjoying your doing.
You whisper to my ear that I should assume the doggie position. You kneel behind me. I do not feel ashamed of virtually putting my anus into your face.
You caress my testicles and my lingam. I enjoy it to the utmost, but don’t dare to show it in some way. I don’t even utter a sigh.
I slowly turn over to my back after being asked by you to do so. I keep my eyes closed, because I’m not sure whether you would consider it impolite or intrusive if I observed you now. Again this uncertainty whether or not I have an erection. Again, you spread some hot oil on the front side of my body. With long strokes you spread it over my body. Also this phase is quite beyond my mental perception.
Only when your touch focuses more and more on my private parts, my thoughts come back. Through my closed eyes I cannot see how exactly you stimulated my glans. However, it felt great. You massage my genitals extensively and tenderly. I’m still not sure how strong my erection is. Probably not that strong, as otherwise you wouldn’t have offered ligature?
In addition, I feel the desire to void my bladder, although I did it before the treatment. I hope that you wouldn’t exert pressure on my bladder, which would inevitably cause a disagreeable interruption. After a while I ask you to detach the ligature of my lingam. Shortly after I am surprisingly overpowered by an orgasm. At that, I shortly open my eyes and I seem to recognize a pleased expression on your face.
I suppose that the whole treatment led sexual energy into my genital area, however, without a strong erection. But the energy was there and it was released. I perceive it as extremely pleasant, although it surprises me, that you wash me with hot facecloths and then lie beside me in a hug for a few moments.
Dear C., it was a very nice experience for me and I sincerely thank you for that.
You and your colleagues deserve respect for your work. You can well call it an art to establish an intimacy completely free of shame with an entirely strange person in such a short time and to just indulge in the recipient’s pleasure.
Kind regards,
Sebastian