Mkali-Hashiki

My Bio

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I was given the name M'kali-Hashiki by a Priest of Oshun in the Ifa tradition (I added the apostrophe & hyphen to help with pronounciation & to show that it's my whole “first” name, not a first name & last name). It is pronounced “em-KAH-lee-HAH-she-kee“ & means “fierce passion“ in Swahili. I believe that we are all entitled to have passion in our lives, and to understand how being connected to our passion & creativity enhances our lives & the lives of those around us. It is my fierce passion for a happy, healthy, world that compels me to do this work.

According to astrology, Scorpios reign over the realms of Sex & Death. As a Scorpio, I have always been curious and intrigued by sexuality, and feel that my erotic sense is the most calibrated of all my senses, and is the filter through which I experience the world.

I have a complex sexuality & sexual history. I have personal experience with polyamory, nonmonogamy, BDSM, and achieving sexual mystical states. I am—and have always been—a “sexual outlaw”; along with being a “triple minority” (Black, female, and queer), this has allowed me to view society's standards on sexuality with a critical eye. Once I came out and became a queer rights activist & organizer I was really able to see the ways in which “standard sexuality” limits us, and separates us from our power.

I was a precocious child, and my sexual education was not exempt. As a child I read everything on sex I could get my hands on, spanning everything from Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex: But Were Afraid To Ask, to Cosmopolitan. I had my first sexual experience at age 9, and I created my own vibrator at age 12. As an adult, I was always the person in my social and professional networks that everyone else came to for answers about sex-related questions.

I am a Trauma Survivor currently addressing my past 38 years of untreated PTSD. I understand the ways in which our triggers hide from us, popping up when we least expect it; the ways trauma can influence even the most mundane actions in our day-to-day lives. While my traumatic incident was not sexual trauma, it still had an impact on my erotic growth & sexuality development due to generalized anxiety & self-image issues; issues that I have been mostly able to integrate (rather than suppress).

Since 1991, I have facilitated and co-facilitated numerous workshops & panels on sexuality and politics across the country: at clinics, festivals, conferences, and universities. My essays on various aspects of sexuality have been published in 'zines, feminist journals, and popular anthologies.